Coach yourself to success by Talane Miedaner contains 101 tips, divided over 10 categories, to attract success in your life. Why would you hire a professional coach, when you can coach yourself? According to Miedaner, positive energy and self-confidence are the two most important factors for achieving success. Whoever feels good radiates success, and whoever radiates success will be more successful.
Most tips in this book therefore suggest small things to make you feel better, by taking better care of yourself, thinking about the future, setting goals for the future and stop doing things that do not bring joy to your life.
This article will address all 10 categories, and a few of the tips of each category summarized. Working on these categories in this specific sequence will help you reach your personal success faster.
The first category of tips describes the goal to increase your natural power. As soon as you stop doing things that cost you energy, or reduce the things that give you negative energy, you will see that you start feeling better and radiate more positive energy towards your environment.
Tips in this category therefore include reducing the energy suckers in your life and working on things that make you happy. These include setting standards for personal behavior which gives you a positive feeling, setting boundaries in communication with others to prevent others from crossing your boundaries, and focusing on acting instead of procrastinating.
The most important tip in this category, is to get rid of any type of addictions you have. Addictions are the largest energy drainers because they ask for your attention multiple times during the day, which makes you think about it and even act upon it.
Category two describes cleaning up your act. Again, energy is the main currency. When you no longer spend energy on certain (energy draining) things or tasks, there will be a kind of energy gap that will be filled with something else. The goal is to refill these gaps with positive things.
Tips in this category include throwing out stuff you don’t really need, for instance stuff that has not been used for 6 months, and freeing up time by learning to say no, outsourcing tasks you don’t like (for instance by hiring a cleaning lady), and automation (for instance automatic payments).
The most important tip is to bring structure in your life, which prevents you from procrastinating tasks. One positive habit could be to reserve one hour every week to bring more structure in your life.
In the third category, make money work for you, Miedaner writes about how to use money to your advantage. Having money leads to independence and being independent attracts success. Imagine having enough money in your bank account to be able to stop working for 6 months and do whatever you like. Having a safety buffer like that gives you mental freedom. Having debts or trouble making months end meet is one of the most energy draining things possible.
Miedaner proposed to reduce your spending with 50%, by buying only the things you really need, until you have reached your 6 month buffer. You will see, that once you´ve reduced your spending, it will turn out you don’t really need that much money to be more independent.
The next step is to learn how to make time when there isn’t any, so you can do things that are important to you. The first paradox here can be found in being in a hurry. Haste costs a lot of energy and usually also reduces effectiveness. One of the tips Miedaner describes is to come to every meeting 10 minutes early. These minutes can be used for meeting preparation or personal reflection and prevent you from ever having to hurry.
The second tip is to do only one thing at a time, doing it right the first time so it won’t come back on your to-do list, and doing it in half the time. Parkinson´s law describes that the amount of work automatically grows to the amount of time available. How is it possible that most people are only capable of finishing most tasks on their last day before their holiday? If we can learn to work this efficient every day of the year, we would free up time for more important things like improving our daily structure and personal reflection.
There is no person in the world who ever became successful without having good relationships with friends and or family members. Close relationships matter. Put a stop to your dysfunctional relationships and invest in your well-functioning ones. Do not be afraid to share your needs with your friends, partner or manager. Some people have the need to share a lot, others don’t. Talk about your needs and ask others to fill your needs to gain a better feeling about yourself. Reward your friends and family with little gifts and don’t forget to tell them often enough how much you appreciate their friendship.
Step number six is to do the work you love. Find out what your hidden talent is and do whatever you like doing. If you do not have the possibilities to what you love at work, make sure you have your projects outside work which bring personal satisfaction. It is the graving for more satisfaction that keeps you motivated each and every day, and knowing you´ll be working on a good project outside working hours can even get you through an entire workday that does not bring satisfaction.
Category seven, working smarter instead of harder, is all about changing your daily routines and structures to be able to work more efficiently. Freeing up time for meditation and reflection will help you find the next thing to improve in your life. Another tip is to promise less and deliver more. Put the deadline twice as far in the future when you agree on doing an assignment, which should prevent high stress levels and haste, which in their turn should lead to you doing everything right the first time and delivering results earlier than planned.
Communicate powerful, charming and with style, is the eight category. People are usually able to listen to you better, when they have finished tell you everything they like to tell you first. This is because they will have the next thing to tell you in their mind already while you are still talking, which makes it impossible for them to listen properly, or ask you questions.
Therefore, before you start telling your story, ask if the other person has anything to add to the current topic of discussion, before you start changing it.
A second tip is about turning complaints into requests. Think about what message you would like to send across and formulate them in the form of a request.
In general, the goal is to take care of the best asset you have – you! If you do not take care of yourself, you cannot expect someone else to take care of you either. Put your own health first, eat healthy, exercise, dress up, and surround yourself with things that are important to you.
You can even have imperfections removed if they reduce you own self-confidence, like removing a mole or having your eyes lasered.
Finally, Miedaner describes reaching the state of success without effort. Days when you feel good and are self-confident are the days you should work on your personal goals. Do not focus on one possible future paths at a time, but define multiple ways of improving your own happiness. Embrace your fares and most importantly: celebrate successes!
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Miedaner, T., 2000, Coach yourself to Success – 101 Tips from a Personal Coach for Reaching Your Goals at Work and in Life, Chicago: Contemporary Books. (order this book)